My Battlefield

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No time for rest, No pillow for my head,

no where to run from this,

no way to forget.

My shadows start to creep, like my skin they cover me…

Just want to feel free and finally try to get some peace.

I hold myself closely, feeling insecure.

People judge all around me, I see them stare….

I close my eyes but I fear he still stares.

Watching me pretending to sleep, feeling my heart pound…

I weaken beneath my blanket, I feel his breathing….

I keep my eyes closed and hear his words,

“Your not asleep”.

I lye there with my eyes pinned shut, my heart still pounds, I hear him walk out and close the door.

Silence is all I hear…

Scared to open my eyes, my heart still pounds.

I finally blackout and awaken at dawn, its just another day..

nothing new is going to come…

still I am here, beneath my blanket…

No where to run from this,

No way to forget….

****

This is my battlefield, pain I carry each day from abuse…when you are this young its hard to escape, you can’t just walk out the door, even at my age now i still carry this burden, I still feel weak, its a battle a fight each day. I am stronger though, stronger then ever. There is people that have been through worse, that have been more hurt but I still feel a victim and I still am one. He’ll never pay for what he did because hes passed away…

Occasionally I feel like I was meant to have this happen to me, to live through what I have been to make me who I am but if anything its just made me stronger and fighting a battle like this means I can overcome anything…  I still suffer to this day, I still need to get out but money and time will have its say…I share this to show people who still go through this can get through it like me, even if its still happening like it is with me… we all deserve better we know we do and we will get better and have better…stay strong and positive….

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