In The Army

This isn’t in the army…..
There’s no love or family just strangers in your den.
This happens in the army,
Death is everywhere and all we have is a notepad and a pen.

This isn’t in the army….
Laughter or happiness
This happens in the army
A written note for the family.

This isn’t in the army….
Comfort for shedding your tears.
This happens in the army,
The enemies lye around here….

Teardrops

Today has ended with these teardrops,
I don’t recognize them.
I can’t breathe and then they fall, I want to hide and be left alone.

Today I cried and it was uncontrollable,
I thought I would be OK but things in life is getting to me.
I want to be a mermaid because they are filled with happiness and freedom.
Its Christmas soon…..I don’t understand,
I even picked up a penny on tales which doesn’t that mean bad luck?

I am going bed now, with a hot water bottle that my boyfriend made me after comforting me whilst I was crying uncontrollably.

Sweet dreams and I hope you all have a good day.

Lea Heart x

07/12/2015

Dear followers and viewers,

Today has been bad and then great but now I feel low and I don’t know what to do. The job centre is making me sign on daily which I guess is no news because I’m not the only one but I feel like its the end of the world, I’m back to where I started….

No 20 year old should sign on, its not right! I thought its suppose to be sort of easy to get jobs, you learn and get your career started between 14 and 18. Your supposed to be getting a job somewhere after that between 18 and 24 I guess but its not happening…..

I seem to get a job then get told am no good or I don’t like it, I just don’t know anymore. Its me and my boyfriends anniversary today, we’ve celebrated it at Oriental restaurant which is normally amazing and it was our first place we went to for our first date.

We’ve been together for 3 years now, amazing 3 years and now were unseperable because we live together at my mums but also looking for our own flat together.
I can’t really get a flat without a permanent job which sucks at the minute…..

Christmas is here soon! I can’t wait 🙂 new year and new start for me! 🙂 love you all.

Lea Heart x

Follow the white rabbit

image

This is my sleeping bunny, he is the cutest most sweetest and funniest bunny I have ever known. I cry for him sometimes, I miss him. When I had to move from my mums i wasn’t able to take him with me and so I had to let my uncle take him.

I only wanted someone to hold him temporarily but when I moved back to my mums I wasn’t able to have him back and that was down to her saying no.

If I could have him back then I would, I love him and miss him and he is my family.

Lea Posted from WordPress

I want to be set free

I’m calling out to you, someone high in heavens sky. Is there hope left? Will I ever be alright?
I’m on my knees in the pouring rain, begging for something good to finally happen….
I listen carefully but I hear no sound, I feel no hope so how is it possible for me to cope?

Look at me! I’m a mess, my mascara is running down and I don’t want anymore stress.
Why can’t you hear me?
Is my life just punishment?
I can’t take no more and I want to give up.

No more lies and no more sitting in the rain trying to get you to hear my cries!
I want to be done but I can’t give up, this life I live now is my hope but please some day hear me.

I no longer want to be just be a sound, I want a job and be able to cope in this world somehow.
No more crying, I want to happy and free.
No more physical pain, I want to finally be set free.

Lea Posted from WordPress

10/11/2015

As of today I walked through town wondering where things will be taking me. I managed to join an agency but won’t be starting work until the 23rd of November!!

Job centre has been giving me a hard time and my mum isn’t being as supportive as she used to be. I’ve grown up to be working things out most of the time alone, I sometimes cry uncontrollably and I feel my heart ache hard.

I’ve been reading a book lately its called Wolf Born by N. Gosney, its really amazing. If you like wolf type books with a little romance and blood then you’ll like this 🙂
I have been tired a lot lately and I can’t understand why, I have been socializing a lot more with friends and family but they’ve not really got back to me through texts.